D-Day

Around this time in one's pregnancy (Helllllloooooooo week 31, we're getting closer!), the most common topic of chatter amongst the women surrounding you is the big D-day.

Delivery.

People love to share their horror stories, philosophies, beliefs and opinions concerning the matter.  I have sat through an in-depth description of a 36 hour labor resulting in 50 stitches that not even a sitz bath with the healing powers of the Jordan River could soothe- by a complete stranger.  Thanks, lady.  That's so encouraging. I've listened attentively and interested to the outline of a difficult, but rewardingly natural home birth surrounded by family and friends.  I've nodded appreciatively when a woman told me that a c-section was the best decision of her life because it saved her son- and to another, who believed it was the most unnecessary, horrific experience she's ever had.  I was told sex was so much better/worse after delivery, that I will lose the weight quickly if only I breastfed or ate nothing but strawberries and yogurt or meditated an hour a day.  Or that I had better get used to the love handles because they'll never go away unless I make an appointment with a plastic surgeon- would I like his number, by the way? That I will never sleep again.  Ever.

And after all of that unsolicited (but genuine and well-meaning) information, their testimonies are always followed by the question,

"And, what's your birth plan?"

Then, I calmly take a deep breath, smile, and explain.  I don't have one.

No, I'm not crazy.  I'm not naive- well, being a first time mom you certainly can't help a bit of naivety since it's an experience I've never had before, but I am not uninformed, I should say.  Rich and I have experienced much in the last year, in which God has taught us lessons in epic proportions- the most important one being, we are not in control.  Losing a baby and gaining a baby all in the same year makes it very clear that in the long run, my "plan" doesn't really matter.  I can be as prepared as possible, of course, and I can have preferences- but as for a plan? Not me.  I don't do that anymore.

The truth is,  this child is a gift.  Not one that I had planned at all.  Which leads me to believe, that God really does know and plan the best after all. Why mess with that?

 Would I like to be able to have a safe, short, natural birth? Yes.  Am I planning on it? No.  Ultimately, the only elements I want present on the day of Ellie's arrival is the calm, peace, and joy that come from knowing that I have a God who has everything under control.  How she enters the world much like how she was conceived, is entirely up to Him.