Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Shameless Plug


Alright.  I've gone back and forth on whether or not I should attempt to plug my book that was published just a few weeks ago.  I mean, we have the publicity thing pretty well under control- thanks to my amazing in-laws Tom and Jamie who launched the website and my friend I wrote it with is fantastic with that.  I don't want to be one of those people who can only talk about themselves and what they're doing with their lives.  I don't want to appear egotistical, God forbid.

And then, it hit me.  I'm a blogger.  How much more self-centered can you get than making a live journal open to the public with the belief that millions of readers will pour over your very, well calculated, witty word?  So, here it goes.

My friend and I wrote a book together about a year ago and it has since been published.  It's a delightful little tale about how we all can find and be comfortable with who we are.  It's entitled, "Finding Your Voice" and the really cool thing about it is it is written both in English AND in Spanish....yeah, I know.  It's genius.  Hey, if I'm going for shameless, I'm going all the way.  

Anyway, it's available for purchase at Amazon.com.... or simply check out the website for more details: www.morethanthemoon.com 

That's enough shameless self-promotion for now.  I'm going to go make a few phones calls to producers and taunt them with script ideas-but leave just enough time to hang that "Author lives here" sign in the front yard.

Vacation Shmation


Ahhh....summer vacation.  I've dreamt of this week often as I was answering questions, okaying kids to go to the bathroom, coming home smelling like pencil shavings and cafeteria goo.  It was like a fairy-tale that just got better over time.  I imagined  sitting out in the yard with a book and a glass of something tropical.  Waking to the sound of silence and having leisurely breakfasts at my favorite hole-in-the-wall diner.  Writing fervently, spinning stories of talking doves and pre-pubescent lightening bugs while sipping lattes in Starbucks.  Practicing the guitar until my finger-tips develop callouses my husband would be proud of.  Singing in the shower, on the side-walk, in the mall-to anyone who would listen, really.  So, after all of these lovely visions, should I tell you what I actually HAVE been doing the last two days?

I've cleaned the bathroom.  Twice.  I've taken out the garbage.  Twice. I've woken up at exactly 6:00, and not gone back to bed.  I've checked the mail eighty times even though I know our mail-lady likes to take her time and doesn't generally show until 2 in the afternoon.  I am continuously checking my e-mail in case I've missed something.  I've stressed at least 3 times a day already about how we're possibly going to make it through the summer without working, though I've garnished my pay-check for the last 5 months to secure the decision. Spurred by the financial stress, I've budgeting the up and coming year.  On several spreadsheets. Color-coded and organized by month. I've put all of my vacation days on the 2009 calendar.  

Lets face facts.  I am a worker.  And for some reason, in my warped little mind, if I am doing something I enjoy it cannot possibly be as important as doing work.  Or, work cannot possibly be something I enjoy.  So,  I have been wandering aimlessly the last two days feeling terribly guilty about not having to get up and go somewhere that I hate, where I would proceed to just wish that I was back at home.  Make sense? Of course not.  I seldom do.

So, this is my want-ad if you will.  If you are well-versed in leisure, have a PhD in vacation, have learned how to live life without guilt, or are doing something you absolutely love for "Work" I desperately need your assistance.  Help a sister in need.  I need some insight...and a fruity cocktail, perhaps.

Friday, June 13, 2008

When My Dad is Jesus

In light of Father's Day, I thought I would honor my Dad by making him the topic of my latest blog.  Before I receive any phone calls from concerned readers who think I have finally let high school students get to me and have gone off the deep end, I don't think my Dad is really Jesus.  Not technically, anyway.  

My Dad is a truck driver.  Last time I checked Jesus was a carpenter, but it's close enough to the burly-blue collar male persona every man wants to emulate.  Except, honestly, there really isn't anything burly or even blue collar about him.  He's very tall and very skinny, for one thing.  Just by looking at him, you couldn't tell he could lift very much.  He doesn't have any tattoos.  He doesn't smoke.  He HATES beer.  To the chagrin of his four daughters, he uses the phrase," you, dog" in place of obscenities.  My Dad may possibly be the most alien truck driver you have ever met.  I went to work with him several months ago, actually, and got to witness first-hand how weird my Dad actually is.

My Dad takes monthly drives to Boston where his company is based and is forever looking for a passenger to accompany him to make the all-inclusive 8-12 hour ride with the bribe of the open road and a Friendly's sundae.  I'm usually the sucker who says yes.  Granted, my other sisters generally fall asleep in the first hour and don't make very good company.  I, on the other hand, cannot sleep in the car let alone the rig of a tractor trailer and tend to chat incessantly the whole way until my throat hurts and we have to stop to get some coffee.  Which, truthfully, serves the both of us- I get to talk uninterrupted all about my grand ideas for my next novel or my philosophies on life or about the genre my album would be placed under, if I, in fact, ever record one and he gets to pay attention to something other than road kill and not fall asleep at the wheel.  

It's in the rig where my Dad seems most normal to me.  Shifting the ten-speed, complaining about the traffic that was inevitable on Rt. 84 by Hartford, drinking old coffee out of a styrofoam cup, dreaming about plots of land in Florida and pointing out motorcycles.  In the rig, being a truck driver fits my Dad who hasn't purchased a tie since bolos were cool, gets uncomfortable when he sits in one room for too long and whose hands look like they could palm hot coals and not feel a thing.  It's when we get to Boston when I realize what an anomaly my Father truly is.

Surrounded by men less than half his size (but double in girth) donning filthy Red Sox caps and greasy tee shirts, my Dad sticks out like a sore thumb. They all smile congenially when we show up, gap-toothed and broken bridges stained with years of strongly brewed coffee during the day, strongly brewed something else after hours, I'm sure.  They all seem to have ruddy cheeks like they've been standing firm in a wind storm at the Patriot's game just before we got there.  They have hearty belly laughs coming from hearty bellies that make me wonder how they get in and out of their trucks and if they rest their coffee cups on them while shifting gears.  They call my Dad all kinds of names that make my cheeks burn- apparently they haven't picked up on the "you,dog" quite yet-but he just laughs it off and playfully punches one of them in the arm.   

The whole warehouse smells like days old coffee, Brut aftershave, the chemicals they were loading into my Dad's truck, and, well, man dirt.  Yes, man dirt is what I said.  You know what I mean.  Running to the bathroom, I nearly knocked off a sign hanging on the door made out of a flap of an old cardboard box declaring," If you just have to piss, please use the urinal" and I wonder as I contemplated whether I should attempt the urinal or not just for kicks how my Dad who counts "piss" as a vial four-letter word works here with these people and seems to whole-heartedly enjoy it.

And then, I get it.  I'm working on this concept on how everybody has a little bit of Jesus in them.  I'm not talking about how "Jesus lives in your heart," and all that sunday school stuff, but how we as Christ-followers exhibit certain qualities that Jesus walked around with.  All of us.  So, my Dad's kinda like Jesus.  

He loves to be surrounded by people that other's have deemed "a little rough around the edges." The jokes we would have gotten a serious lecture for if he heard any one of us kids tell them, he uses as an in to ask his co-workers other personal questions about their lives.  You know that my Dad knows each and everyone of those truck driver's wives names? And their kids? And if they had mistresses, I bet he knows them too.  He knows where they live.  He knows where they went to college, or if they never did he knows the reason why. He knows whose going through a divorce, who just lost a child, who's struggling financially, who's kid just got accepted into Boston University and who got season tickets to the Sox-then teases them about it.  

My Dad never judges them.  The way they dress, the way they talk, the way they live.  He just happens to met them where they are and really love them.  The dirt, the warehouse chemicals and all.  That's Jesus.  That's the kind of Jesus I'd like to be.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Too Bloody Hot

I admit it.  It is Monday, the beginning of the work week.  My students are most likely sticking to their metal desks.  Teachers are cranky and soaked through their proper business attire.  The cafeteria aides have probably quit reprimanding the kids for throwing paper airplanes because of the brief, small gust of air they bring.  Of course, I can only hypothesize because I am home. 

Yes, I stayed home.  Yes, I used a sick day.  Truth be told, my allergies have been atrocious this whole weekend, I tailgated in 140 degree weather outside of the Meadowlands for the US/Argentina game for 3 hours yesterday, then sat through the last half hour in the pouring rain.  I did not feel well this morning.   

So, I am so sorry for those who are stuck in this terrible, fry-an-egg-on-the-sidewalk day, but I am so grateful to be home!  

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Domestic Plights

I'm not exactly Martha Stewart.  I'm positive I fold my towels the wrong way.  I don't have little bags of smelly stuff in my underwear drawer-sachets, I believe they're called.  My idea of floral arranging is swinging by ShopRite, picking up their 3 bunches of wilted daisies for ten bucks and tossing them none-too-delicately in my K-Mart special vase.  I can say with certainty that my husband has seen the inside of our washing machine more than I have and I don't even want to tell you that last time I looked behind the toilet; but I know without a shadow of a doubt whatever creature lurks back there keeps eating my hair elastics.

Don't get me wrong, I do my part.  I happen to love to cook.  And bake.  And, do both fairly well if I may say so myself.  I get a bizarre sense of accomplishment out of scrubbing the kitchen floor.  I love to take out the recycling.  I make sure all of our bills get paid on time.  I fluff all of the pillows in the living room on a daily basis-for some reason I feel better that the floor is covered in garbage if the pillows on the couch look pretty.  

Truthfully, though, (and I will tread carefully here for those super-women who can do it all and bake cookies too), I don't really care all that much that I don't do my dishes everyday.  It doesn't really bother me that the same sweatshirt has been hanging to dry on the back of one of the dining room chairs for the last three weeks.  The milk in my fridge has most likely expired and I think that strange squeezy bottle of relish is older than some of our bottles of wine. 

When it comes down to it, I'd rather put my sweats on when I get home.  Go for a walk.  Catch the last ten minutes of Oprah.  Maybe read something none-work related for once.  Eat some ice-cream.  Then do some crunches.  Then reward myself by eating more ice cream.  Perhaps someday I'll get better at this "keeping house" thing.  For now, I am going to order a pizza and take solice in the fact that I will recycle the box first thing in the morning.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Ah, Summer


I have been trying so hard to keep the wolves at bay. I've closed all the windows to avoid the wafting aroma of lilacs. I've even shut the blinds to block out the way the sun glints on the grass in the quad. I've been sweating through sweaters to maintain the seriousness of the school year. I've banned water bottles- adamantly denying their neccessity. But, today, on June 2 I could deny it no longer. I donned my brightest colored skirt, rebelliously broke the dress code by pairing it with cute gold sandals, flung the windows open and welcomed summer into my dreary little classroom.

Summer was always synonymous with fun-therefore, teachers are taught to avoid the subject entirely or you'll lose your students forever to day-dreams of sandy beaches instead of focusing on Oedipus, Act III. However, I figured since I've broken every other teacher code in the last four months, why not go out in style?

Truth is, I'm most likely more excited than they are about the summer. In fact, they might have lost me in the dreamy floral breeze slowly taking the place of the adolescent stink that hovers over my desk like their incessant requests. Mrs. Shannon, can I get my average? Ummm...what do I owe you again? The book report was due when????? Can I get an extra day? Come on, you know you love me.....

I have successfully tuned them out today. If I'm lucky, I will continue the success for the remaining three weeks.