The Secret

I understand that my neighbors could be assuming that I consider myself of certain princess status since my car has been in the drive-way throughout the entire day during this summer. I feel that I should explain to everyone I pass on my morning walk, "So nice to have off! I'm a teacher, you know. I'm employed, just not during the summer. Not a kept woman. Oh, no. I pull my weight." Smile. Wave. Pride restored. Go back inside for napping at noon.

However, on my walks I've discovered something. I pass the same people every morning. The same handful of people walk briskly passed my front porch, dragged by a large Huskie or pulling a petite terrier at 7 am, 8, 9, and 10. It was only this morning that I mulled over this phenomenon and light radiated from my (under-used as of late) cranium. They all have one thing in common! I paused to breathe, then uttered the awe-inspiring question: Could dog owners be exempt from the working world?

There they are. Every single day. Young women smiling in their matching pink lycra, skinny Starbucks latte in hand, scampering right behind the little rat disguised as a chihuahua, leaving their Juicy calling card shaking down the sidewalk. Stopping at corners. Reading People on benches. Smiling and nodding, plastic baggie in hand. The older, distinguished looking men come later with beagles and greyhounds. Never in suits. Never wearing a watch. Flashing veneers that could have paid my yearly salary. Sauntering even, taunting me. Poor girl. She'll never figure it out. Smelling Parisan- the expensive Parisan, not Paris-in-July Parisan, which I understand is more offensive than middle-school boys playing basketball. Occasionally, in groups. Discussing the stock market and gas prices, stopping to give a pat to his charge. I fought the urge to call out to them. "Took off today?" "Nice week for a vacation, huh?" "What do you for a living, if you don't mind me asking?" I mean, it's utterly impossible that the entire Montclair community is made up of educators all enjoying the plight of summer. They know something.

However, I abstain from embarrassing myself with such thoughtless questions. It's not fair to exploit my insecurities in others, especially complete strangers. And, if I was keeping such a prized secret, I would be reluctant to share as well. Little do they know that I am finally on to them. Ha.

All of these years of trying to figure out how I can get out of waking at 6 am, coming home at 4 only to do it all over again for 5 straight days in a row and the answer was right in front of my nose-or porch. Be gone, get rich quick schemes. Silence, at home web companies. Enough, private tutoring, car-washing, apartment cleaning, home buisness operating. It all boils down to one thing. I have seen the light. I'm privy to the secret. I've wised-up. I'm getting a dog.